Women often tell me that they are afraid of negotiation, that they either just do not know how to do it to get what they want or that they do not have confidence that they will be ready enough for any negotiation.
Whether it is a salary negotiation, bidding on a job, or solving a problem on a job site, you can have an effective negotiation and get the results you seek following some logical and well-planned steps.
The very first step is to start in your own head. The voices in our heads often dissuade us of our ability to successfully negotiate. Just say "no" to those voices!
Negotiation does not need to be equated with conflict. In fact, starting with thinking about the issue as a problem to solve and that your negotiation partner is part of your process in reaching a solution will help reorient your view. Because women are natural collaborators, if we approach our negotiations as getting a deal done rather than getting a "win," we are more likely to enter the process with confidence. And confidence will get you halfway to your goal!
Your mindset—how you look at the world and your attitudes that influence how you interpret situations—plays a key role in how you negotiate. Often our mindset in a negotiation is that we are in opposition to our negotiation partner. In many situations, your negotiation partner may hold an opposing view or position. However, if you start with the mindset that your "opponent" is instead your "partner" in reaching your goal, your entire mindset and all of your resulting actions will change.
Instead of, "I can't believe they won't give me a raise," think, "I can explain to you why a raise will be beneficial not only for me but also for the firm." You can see how your discussion will automatically change.
In addition, when you enter into a discussion with this collaborative mindset , you tap into your natural tendency to find effective solutions and carry an inherent amount of self confidence that will make others want to agree with you.
In relationships, whether they are person or business relationships, no one really wants conflict. If your mindset is such that you are seeking a collaborative solution, others will naturally want to join you on this journey.
Now that your mindset is attuned, we will discuss in my negotiation blog some practical steps to prepare for your negotiation. If you have any comments or questions, please post them and start a dialogue.
Related Stories
| Aug 13, 2014
UIA commits to phasing out CO2 emissions in built environment
The International Union of Architects, representing approximately 2.3 million architects worldwide, has unanimously adopted the 2050 Imperative committing to environmental and social sustainability.
| Aug 13, 2014
ADD Inc. to merge with Stantec
The deal, which helps Stantec strengthen its capabilities in the buildings business on the East Coast, is expected to close in September.
| Aug 13, 2014
Campus UX: Why universities should be creating 'branded environments' on campus
When most colleges and universities consider their brands, they rarely venture beyond the design and implementation of a logo, writes Gensler Design Director Brian Brindisi.
| Aug 12, 2014
Vietnam's 'dragonfly in the sky' will be covered in trees, vegetation
Designed by Vietnamese design firm Vo Trong Nghia Architects, the building will be made up of stacked concrete blocks placed slightly askew to create a soft, organic form that the architects say is reminiscent of a dragonfly in the sky.
| Aug 12, 2014
First look: Calatrava's futuristic Main Building opens at Florida Polytechnic University
The $60 million structure is wrapped in a bright-white, aluminum pergola for dramatic effect and solar shading.
| Aug 12, 2014
Shading prototype could allow new levels of environmental control for skyscraper occupants
Developed by architects at NBBJ, Sunbreak uses a unique three-hinged shade that morphs from an opaque shutter to an abstract set of vertical blinds to an awning, depending on what is needed.
| Aug 12, 2014
Design firms invited to submit qualifications for St. Petersburg, Fla., waterfront project
The city of St. Petersburg, Fla., invites firms to submit their ideas for a new and improved pier for Florida's fifth largest city.
| Aug 11, 2014
Air Terminal Sector Giants: Morphing TSA procedures shape terminal design [2014 Giants 300 Report]
The recent evolution of airport terminals has been prompted largely by different patterns of passenger behavior in a post-9/11 world, according to BD+C's 2014 Giants 300 Report.
| Aug 11, 2014
The Endless City: Skyscraper concept connects all floors with dual ramps
Rather than superimposing one floor on top of another, London-based SURE Architecture proposes two endless ramps, rising gradually with a low gradient from the ground floor to the sky.
| Aug 11, 2014
Will Alsop's funky 'high-rise on stilts' will be built over an apartment building in London
South London's riverfront will soon be graced by one of Will Alsop's eccentric designs: a curved apartment tower on purple stilts.
