Women often tell me that they are afraid of negotiation, that they either just do not know how to do it to get what they want or that they do not have confidence that they will be ready enough for any negotiation.
Whether it is a salary negotiation, bidding on a job, or solving a problem on a job site, you can have an effective negotiation and get the results you seek following some logical and well-planned steps.
The very first step is to start in your own head. The voices in our heads often dissuade us of our ability to successfully negotiate. Just say "no" to those voices!
Negotiation does not need to be equated with conflict. In fact, starting with thinking about the issue as a problem to solve and that your negotiation partner is part of your process in reaching a solution will help reorient your view. Because women are natural collaborators, if we approach our negotiations as getting a deal done rather than getting a "win," we are more likely to enter the process with confidence. And confidence will get you halfway to your goal!
Your mindset—how you look at the world and your attitudes that influence how you interpret situations—plays a key role in how you negotiate. Often our mindset in a negotiation is that we are in opposition to our negotiation partner. In many situations, your negotiation partner may hold an opposing view or position. However, if you start with the mindset that your "opponent" is instead your "partner" in reaching your goal, your entire mindset and all of your resulting actions will change.
Instead of, "I can't believe they won't give me a raise," think, "I can explain to you why a raise will be beneficial not only for me but also for the firm." You can see how your discussion will automatically change.
In addition, when you enter into a discussion with this collaborative mindset , you tap into your natural tendency to find effective solutions and carry an inherent amount of self confidence that will make others want to agree with you.
In relationships, whether they are person or business relationships, no one really wants conflict. If your mindset is such that you are seeking a collaborative solution, others will naturally want to join you on this journey.
Now that your mindset is attuned, we will discuss in my negotiation blog some practical steps to prepare for your negotiation. If you have any comments or questions, please post them and start a dialogue.
Related Stories
| Jun 30, 2014
OMA's The Interlace honored as one of the world's most 'community-friendly' high-rises
The 1,040-unit apartment complex in Singapore has won the inaugural Urban Habitat award from the Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat, which highlights projects that demonstrate a positive contribution to the surrounding environment.
| Jun 30, 2014
Work starts on Jean Nouvel-designed European Patent Office in the Netherlands [slideshow]
With around 80,000 sm and a budget of €205 million self-financed by the EPO, the complex will be one of the biggest office construction sites ever in the Netherlands.
| Jun 30, 2014
Growth of crowdfunding, public-private partnerships among top trends in architecture marketplace
A new report by the American Institute of Architects highlights several emerging trends in the architecture marketplace, including the growth of the P3 project delivery model and designing for health.
| Jun 30, 2014
Report recommends making infrastructure upgrades a cabinet-level priority
The ASCE estimates that $3.6 trillion must be invested by 2020 to make critically needed upgrades and expansions of national infrastructure—and avoid trillions of dollars in lost business sales, exports, disposable income, and GDP.
| Jun 30, 2014
Gen X, not Baby Boomers, spending the most money on homes [infographic]
It turns out that Generation X, who have the highest incomes of the three generations surveyed, are paying the highest home payments and tend to have the largest households.
| Jun 30, 2014
Zaha Hadid's Iraq Parliament complex design marred with controversy
Zaha Hadid's design for the Iraq Parliament was selected, despite placing third in the original RIBA-organized competition.
Sponsored | | Jun 27, 2014
SAFTI FIRST Now Offers GPX Framing with Sunshade Connectors
For the Doolittle Maintenance Facility, SAFTI FIRST provided 60 minute, fire resistive wall openings in the exterior using SuperLite II-XL 60 insulated with low-e glazing in GPX Framing with a clear anodized finish.
| Jun 26, 2014
Glazing offers peace-of-mind for hurricane season
SPONSORED CONTENT As hurricane season kicks into high gear, it reinforces the importance of balancing the aesthetic and daylight enhancements of glazing with the safety requirements to protect people and structures from hurricane-force winds.
| Jun 26, 2014
Plans for Britain’s newest landmark brings in international cooperation
Designers of the London Eye will team up with companies from France, the Netherlands and the United States to construct i360 Brighton, the U.K.'s newest observation tower.
| Jun 25, 2014
The best tall buildings of 2014
Four high-rise buildings from multiple continents have been selected as the best of their region. The best worldwide tall building will be announced November 6.
