Women often tell me that they are afraid of negotiation, that they either just do not know how to do it to get what they want or that they do not have confidence that they will be ready enough for any negotiation.
Whether it is a salary negotiation, bidding on a job, or solving a problem on a job site, you can have an effective negotiation and get the results you seek following some logical and well-planned steps.
The very first step is to start in your own head. The voices in our heads often dissuade us of our ability to successfully negotiate. Just say "no" to those voices!
Negotiation does not need to be equated with conflict. In fact, starting with thinking about the issue as a problem to solve and that your negotiation partner is part of your process in reaching a solution will help reorient your view. Because women are natural collaborators, if we approach our negotiations as getting a deal done rather than getting a "win," we are more likely to enter the process with confidence. And confidence will get you halfway to your goal!
Your mindset—how you look at the world and your attitudes that influence how you interpret situations—plays a key role in how you negotiate. Often our mindset in a negotiation is that we are in opposition to our negotiation partner. In many situations, your negotiation partner may hold an opposing view or position. However, if you start with the mindset that your "opponent" is instead your "partner" in reaching your goal, your entire mindset and all of your resulting actions will change.
Instead of, "I can't believe they won't give me a raise," think, "I can explain to you why a raise will be beneficial not only for me but also for the firm." You can see how your discussion will automatically change.
In addition, when you enter into a discussion with this collaborative mindset , you tap into your natural tendency to find effective solutions and carry an inherent amount of self confidence that will make others want to agree with you.
In relationships, whether they are person or business relationships, no one really wants conflict. If your mindset is such that you are seeking a collaborative solution, others will naturally want to join you on this journey.
Now that your mindset is attuned, we will discuss in my negotiation blog some practical steps to prepare for your negotiation. If you have any comments or questions, please post them and start a dialogue.
Related Stories
| Apr 26, 2011
Video: Are China's ghost cities a bubble waiting to burst?
It's estimated that 10 new cities are being built in China every year, but many are virtually deserted. Retail space remains empty and hundreds of apartments are vacant, but the Chinese government is more concerned with maintaining economic growth—and building cities is one way of achieving that goal.
| Apr 25, 2011
Earn $300 million by NOT hiring Frank Gehry
An Iowa philanthropist and architecture aficionado—who wishes to remain anonymous—is offering a $300 million “reward” to any city anywhere in the world that’s brave enough to hire someone other than Frank Gehry to design its new art museum.
| Apr 20, 2011
Marketing firm Funtion: to host “Construct. Build. Evolve.”
Function:, an integrated marketing agency that specializes in reaching the architecture, building and design community, is hosting an interactive art event, “Construct. Build. Evolve.” in Atlanta’s Piedmont Park on Thursday April 21, 2011 at 11:00AM EDT. During the event attendees will be asked to answer the question, “how would you build the future?” to rouse dialogue and discover fresh ideas for the future of the built environment.
| Apr 20, 2011
Architecture Billings Index: new projects inquiry index up significantly from February
The American Institute of Architects (AIA) reported the March ABI score was 50.5, a negligible decrease from a reading of 50.6 the previous month. This score reflects a modest increase in demand for design services (any score above 50 indicates an increase in billings). The new projects inquiry index was 58.7, up significantly from a mark of 56.4 in February.
| Apr 19, 2011
What are the 15 most-watched construction and engineering stocks?
According to Motley Fool, a multimedia financial services company, the most-watched construction and engineering stock is Fluor (NYSE: FLR), which ranks #1 on BD+C’s Giants 300 engineering list with $1.994 billion in revenue in 2009. Check out the 14 other most-watched A/E stocks.
| Apr 19, 2011
AIA announces top 10 green Projects for 2011
The American Institute of Architects Committee on the Environment announced its Top 10 Green Projects for 2011. Among the winners: Cherokee Studios in Los Angeles, the Department of Energy's National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Golden, Colo., and the Vancouver Convention Centre West in Vancouver, British Columbia.
| Apr 18, 2011
Greening and Upgrading Today’s Vertical Transport Systems
Earn 1.0 AIA/CES HSW/SD learning units by studying this article and passing the online exam.
| Apr 14, 2011
U.S. embassies on a mission to green the world's buildings
The U.S. is putting greater emphasis on greening its worldwide portfolio of embassies. The U.S. State Department-affiliated League of Green Embassies already has 70 U.S. embassies undergoing efforts to reduce their environmental impact, and the organization plans to increase that number to more than 100 by the end of the year.
| Apr 14, 2011
How AEC Professionals Choose Windows and Doors
Window and door systems need to perform. Respondents to our annual window and door survey overwhelmingly reported that performance, weather resistance, durability, and quality were key reasons a particular window or door was specified.
