Women often tell me that they are afraid of negotiation, that they either just do not know how to do it to get what they want or that they do not have confidence that they will be ready enough for any negotiation.
Whether it is a salary negotiation, bidding on a job, or solving a problem on a job site, you can have an effective negotiation and get the results you seek following some logical and well-planned steps.
The very first step is to start in your own head. The voices in our heads often dissuade us of our ability to successfully negotiate. Just say "no" to those voices!
Negotiation does not need to be equated with conflict. In fact, starting with thinking about the issue as a problem to solve and that your negotiation partner is part of your process in reaching a solution will help reorient your view. Because women are natural collaborators, if we approach our negotiations as getting a deal done rather than getting a "win," we are more likely to enter the process with confidence. And confidence will get you halfway to your goal!
Your mindset—how you look at the world and your attitudes that influence how you interpret situations—plays a key role in how you negotiate. Often our mindset in a negotiation is that we are in opposition to our negotiation partner. In many situations, your negotiation partner may hold an opposing view or position. However, if you start with the mindset that your "opponent" is instead your "partner" in reaching your goal, your entire mindset and all of your resulting actions will change.
Instead of, "I can't believe they won't give me a raise," think, "I can explain to you why a raise will be beneficial not only for me but also for the firm." You can see how your discussion will automatically change.
In addition, when you enter into a discussion with this collaborative mindset , you tap into your natural tendency to find effective solutions and carry an inherent amount of self confidence that will make others want to agree with you.
In relationships, whether they are person or business relationships, no one really wants conflict. If your mindset is such that you are seeking a collaborative solution, others will naturally want to join you on this journey.
Now that your mindset is attuned, we will discuss in my negotiation blog some practical steps to prepare for your negotiation. If you have any comments or questions, please post them and start a dialogue.
Related Stories
| Aug 11, 2010
AIA hires Worthen, Fitzgerald for sustainability, young architects initiatives
As part of an ongoing effort to bolster its education and outreach on sustainability, the American Institute of Architects has hired William J. Worthen, AIA, LEED AP, vice president of Simon & Associates (a green consulting firm) as Director and Resource Architect for Sustainability. The AIA has also hired Kevin A. Fitzgerald, AIA, a former associate with Robert AM Stern Architects, as a staff coordinator/team leader for several AIA committees devoted to young architects.
| Aug 11, 2010
Perkins+Will acquires Canadian firm Shore Tilbe Irwin & Partners
Shore Tilbe Irwin & Partners of Toronto, Ont., Canada, has been acquired by Perkins+Will, a global integrated design firm headquartered in Chicago. The merger marks Perkins+Will's 19th office in North America and its second in Canada.
| Aug 11, 2010
NBBJ and C.T. Hsu associates join forces for Florida healthcare market
NBBJ has entered into an exclusive alliance agreement with C.T. Hsu + Associates P.A. (CTHA) to provide world-class design/planning services for Florida's emerging healthcare and science facilities market. The alliance combines NBBJ's international reputation for the design and planning of healthcare and science & research facilities with CTHA's knowledge of community needs and established reputation for planning and design expertise in Central Florida.
| Aug 11, 2010
Minneapolis Public Housing authority, Honeywell launch energy retrofit program
Minneapolis Public Housing Authority and Honeywell today announced a $33.6-million energy efficiency and facility renewal program that will help the housing authority improve its infrastructure, reduce its impact on the environment, and save more than $3.7 million in utility costs per year. Local contractors will also complete a majority of the work for the program, one of the largest of its kind for a public housing authority, helping boost the Twin Cities job market.
| Aug 11, 2010
Shepley Bulfinch announces merger of Merzproject
National architecture firm Shepley Bulfinch of Boston and Merzproject of Phoenix today announced their merger. The merger unites Shepley Bulfinch, one of the country’s leading design firms, and Merzproject.
| Aug 11, 2010
Skanska Promotes Richard Kennedy to COO for NY/NJ Metro Area
Skanska USA Building Inc., headquartered in Parsippany, N.J., has announced that Richard Kennedy was promoted to Chief Operating Officer from his previous role as Senior Vice President – General Counsel. Kennedy’s promotion marks the latest addition to Skanska’s national leadership team.
| Aug 11, 2010
The New Yorker's David Owen: Why Manhattan is America's greenest community
David Owen is a staff writer at The New Yorker and the author of 14 books, most recently Green Metropolis: Why Living Smaller, Living Closer, and Driving Less Are the Keys to Sustainability, in which he argues that Manhattan is the greenest community in America. He graduated from Harvard and lives in Washington, Conn., where he chairs the town planning commission.
| Aug 11, 2010
Brown Craig Turner opens senior living studio
Baltimore-based architecture and design firm Brown Craig Turner has significantly expanded its housing design capabilities and expertise with the launch of its new senior living studio.
| Aug 11, 2010
George H. Miller, FAIA, inaugurated as 2010 AIA President
George H. Miller, FAIA, partner at Pei Cobb Freed & Partners LLP, was inaugurated as the 86th president of the American Institute of Architects (AIA) during ceremonies held on December 4th.
